A Letter to Thyself

                          A Love Letter to Thyself

 

Valentine’s Day has come and past—but love and hate are all year, regret and remorse are all year round. 

I am not speaking of the relationship between one and his/her/their partner but of the relationship one has with thyself.

I have made many, many mistakes in my lifetime.  At times, I have hurt people enormously with my words, I have disappointed those I care most about, I have been selfish when I should have thought of the needs of others as well.  

And so I can go one like this, whipping myself like the medieval flaggelants who used whipping as a form of expulsion of their sins.

I am religious, so I do ask and often do ask God for forgiveness.  But there are secular ways as well, one of the strongest being self-compassion.

Self-compassion-- for me-- is about giving youself the same room for growth and forgiveness as you would (or one day hope to) extend to others.  It is about putting that whip down and taking a breath and sitting with yourself and kindly looking at what exactly happened-- what was your role in the situation, what was the role of the other person in the situation.  Can you make ammends for your part?  Can you learn from this and try to not repeat the same behavior chain?

I have been trying to get back into an athletic state that I once was-- I used to be an award-winning gymnast, ran track and took dance classes in college.  I have been watching Yoga with Adriene and in one of the earliest espisodes (for I have only watched 2... self-compassion LOL) she asked her viewers to say, "I love you," to themselves.

How often do we say, "I love you" to ourselves?

There is a saying, "Those who hurt, hurt others" and I so I do believe loviong oneself-- specially self-reflection and self-compassion are good ways to begin to heal your own hurt.  A way for you to put down a whip you use on yourself, and a way to put down the whip you may have used on others.

Replace it with that moment, or two, or three where you write a love letter to yourself-- acknowledging your good and looking at your mistakes without judgement-- but with compassion.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash